I was talking to a friend recently who is having heart problems. I was amazed as I listened to him. “My foreman is out to get me to retire”. He said.
“The compensation board has screwed me over and they are refusing to pay me justly for the finger I partially cut off while working a couple of months ago.”
“I’m getting so depressed that I don’t really want to go to work, but I have not choice. I can’t retire. I won’t be earning enough money to pay my bills if I do. ”
On an on went the negative talk.
Have you ever noticed a person talking like that will tend to grow spiritless? Their face, instead of a wonderful glow, will emit a sombre grey sky look?
Of course the opposite is also true. Someone who is a peace with themselves and who are confident about what they do and how they are perceived will ‘radiate’ a golden glow from their face and their eyes will sparkle with life. Have you ever noticed that?
What’s the difference? Or, what is the similarity?
The difference, of course is that one person is focused on the negative things happening to them while the other is focusing on all the ‘crap’ that is coming at them.
The similarity is that both are using inner images of themselves and ‘words’ to describe their reality. The images are inside the mind and the words are the forms that get heard on the outside. Images create responses from the inside and probably generate emotions and then words are used to express and communicate that inner perception.
Words are molds. They give ‘shape’ to images and ideas that we hold inside of us don’t they? Of course what I am getting at here is that words not only shape ideas. They also serve to shape beliefs that in turn affect how we feel about ourselves and how we see ourselves. In that sense they mold our lives, as we saw in the two people mentioned above.
The question now becomes; how do we individually choose to mold our lives?
I have another friend who kept saying; “I am shy”. Just think about that for a moment. When we use the term “I am” we are very deeply identifying ourselves with the state described. It would be better if the person in question would say; I have feelings of shyness that seem to hinder me from being more expressive. That sounds a whole lot better than “I am shy”. One is a feeling, a part of who they are, a fleeting thing. The other goes right to the essence of the person. A feeling is passing.
On the other hand when I say, I am this or that, I am pretty solidly identifying that I am statement. Deadly wouldn’t you say?
That’s what caused feelings of hurt in me when my friend went on and on stating that others were out to get him. This was not an isolated moment. I have been listening to his self-talk get more and more negative over the last several years.
The result is that it is making him no longer able to function well in his work space and it is in fact attacking his physical heart.
In his case his words are forms giving form to ill health; emotionally and physically.
I just imagine words being light as a feather or as gentle as a warm summer breeze.
I also imagine words being heavy stones and crushing hammers. Instead of breeze they are harsh daggers penetrating to the soul. They crush the life out of us.
Have you ever felt within yourself when you’ve been around someone who is constantly negative? Have you felt like getting the hell out of their presence because it made you more and more tired as you listened?
Such is the power of words. It seems to be very worth thinking about what comes out of our mouths.
Words bind. Words heal. Words lift up and tear down. They are indeed the molds that will create your tomorrow.
We need to choose to pay attention to the words we use both within our mind and out of our mouths. Make no mistake they have a direct impact on our belief system and on our feelings about ourselves and hence the direction of our lives.
There is a saying somewhere that said a person reaps what they sow. Sow words of harshness and reap bitterness. Sow words of enthusiasm and and encouragement and reap a happy life.
It seems to me to be that simple.
As for me I would rather use my words to mold a wonderful and joyful life with health, beauty, good friends, love, warmth and joy wouldn’t you?