That which is mine can be “withheld” from me. Have you ever heard a parent say to a child: if you don’t eat your supper, there will be no desert?
Or maybe it’s the Santa Clause thing: “Have you been a good little girl?” The assumption being that if you were not your request for a toy of your liking would be ‘withheld’ from you.
That’s the kind of world we live in isn’t it?
“If you don’t follow the rules you will be punished”. Your freedom will be taken from you or some such thing.
I wonder what that has done to our little psyche?
I bet it has had a very ‘destructive’ impact. I bet it has created a very “destructive” zone for us to live in.
In fact, it has probably created a victim mindset. It may even have set up in you a mindset where you find yourself waiting for others to approve or disapprove of what you do.
After having to face this withholding scenario many times we might just have gotten molded into thinking, as a general rule, that most everything can be withheld from us. We might even be molded into a pattern of begging for what, in truth, is actually our right to have.
When we think about it we see that it is really ‘words’ that mold our minds into believing something that is not true.
Someone tells us to tow the line…or else. Those words backed by some sort of harsh action often causes children to develop the victim mindset.
Embedded in the mind of the child is the belief; “that which is mine can be withheld from me”. WHAT A PRISON!
How does the child ever get out of that prison?
If words and actions are the molds that made this world, then words and actions must be the molds that can unmake it.
All one has to do is use the ‘same power’ that created the negative state…in reverse.
The ‘principle’ is – words mould – words shape. Have you ever noticed your self talk; “I’ll never succeed at this… I hate how I look. I can’t stand my hair. I’m just now good.”
You know, people actually believed that the world was flat and the result was that no one tried to go as far as the eye could see lest they fall off.
It took one to look at the situation, a sailor, and he had the sense that the world did not drop off at the edge of the horizon. He formed words in his own mind that said something like; “I have studied this and my hunch is that the world is not flat.” So he gambled and tried reaching the edge and he discovered the Americas. That was the beginning a a new world view. A shift took place.
The same holds true for our minds. A shift can take place from destructive ideas about who we are to constructive ideas and the shift first takes place in the words we use in ‘self talk’.
This may not be obvious at first. We may not hear our self talk because it is so automatic. But by reading about it in an article like this we can become aware because we know it’s a possibility. Catch yourself only once and the way is paved for you to do it again. Then you can begin a program to “reframe” how you talk to yourself, about yourself.
I realize it is not that easy. It can be more like a wrestling match. You make an affirmation… I am worthy of love and you may hear a voice pop up saying something like: “worthy, what the hell is that you slob…”
Then you know there is programming within you at the subconscious level. Then you can counter that negative blurb, that seemingly happened out of nowhere, with words to the effect; “let me look at this, am I really a slob? I don’t think so. Am I not a kind and loving person? Yes I am. Really I am worthy of love because I’m beautiful, because I am made in the image of God, of Beauty. I love others so easily. It’s easy for me to see their worth, why would I not affirm that “I” am worthy of love. Yes, I am worthy of love.”
It really is about what you ‘identify’ yourself with. When you were a child you had no defenses. If someone told you that you were stupid your tendency would have been to go with it.
The one day you may have have gotten angry enough and you would could start to counter such comments.
So within ourselves we can come to imagine ourselves differently. For example the Bible says: we are created in the image of God. So, we can look at such a comment take it literally. “I am made in the image of God”. “Being stupid is not a part of that.” “Delete that thought.” “I choose to ‘reframe’ my identity.” “I am made in the image of God means I am capable. I am creative. I am powerful.” and so on.
As we instruct our wounded self-image in this way we cause a shift to happen. We choose a ‘constructive’ view of ourselves, as opposed to the ‘destructive’ one that we innocently took on as a child.
This is all very simple. The challenge is to ‘decide’ to do it. You might find help to do it. But for it to be done is in the realm of possibility.
I know I have experienced this and am learning to reprogram my self little by little.
What’s your experience?